How to Play True American

1…2…3…JFK FDR!

New Girl fans know this means someone is about to embark on a quest to play the bewildering, intricate game that is True American. The characters play it on the show multiple times but never divulge the rules and even the most avid watcher would have a tough time deciphering what they are. There are a multitude of guides online but their misguided attempts always end in disjointed drunkenness (in a bad way). Lucky for you I’ve found the definitive guide so read on if you want your game of True American to end in disjointed drunkenness (in a good way).

What You Need

-1 table

-4 beers per player

-1 bottle of liquor

-1 Funky playlist with a disproportionate amount of the Black Eyed Peas

-Furniture you can stand on

Setup

Arrange your furniture in a circle with at least ten spaces (each cushion counts as one). Place the table with everyone’s drinks on it in the center of the circle. Once the game begins the floor turns into lava and contestants are no longer able to step there without incurring a penalty of one shot.

How to Start

Every game of True American begins with the national anthem. Players stand at attention and the first person to laugh or talk must take one shot. After everyone has paid their respects to this great country, players gather in a circle for shot tip off. During shot tip off each person places one finger gun at their side, raising it on the count of three and aiming at whoever they want to drink. The person with the most guns pointed towards them takes a shot. Repeat 5 times (or as many as needed depending on your tolerance).

How to Play

After shot tip off each player grabs one drink and jumps to a space. The floor has officially turned to lava and it is mandatory to be holding a drink at all times for the remainder of the game. On their turn, player’s rotate asking questions to the group and the first person to answer correctly moves forward a spot. Here are the three types of questions:

1. You may ask a trivia question in any of the following categories; Disney, Lord of the Rings, New Girl, or American History. The first player to answer correctly moves forward.

2. Start a famous quote (historical or pop culture) or sing a few song lyrics. The first person to correctly finish the lines moves forward.

3. If you can’t think of anything else just shout 1…2…3 JFK FDR! Players place a number between 1 & 5 on their forehead and if no one else has your number you move forward.

When it’s their turn each player acts as judge and the final call on who answered first is up to them. In the event of a tie those contestants must play rock, paper, scissors shot to decide the winner. They are momentarily allowed to step in the lava in order to follow procedure. The two participants stand back to back, take five paces, and then play. The winner moves forward a spot, the loser takes a shot. Either player in the tie may relinquish the spot to the other if they are unwilling or unable to play rock, paper, scissors, shot.

How to Win

Once a player drinks all four beers and completes the entire circle, landing on their original spot, they must take one final shot to win. Pace yourself. Remember that you must finish all four beers BEFORE arriving at your original spot. If a player reaches their original spot without having finished their drinks they must take a shot and move backwards two spaces.

Bathroom Rules

If a contestant needs to use the restroom during the game they may step in the lava to do so but only after answering a riddle decided upon by the rest of the group. Conversely players may also take off either their shirt or pants for the remainder of the game.

Tribute

As you can probably tell True American includes a fair amount of drinking. Tailor the rules to your tolerance so you don’t end up with broken, vomit covered furniture. Every so often one player will encounter a stretch of bad luck and have to take more shots than they can handle. If this is the case any contestant can “volunteer as tribute” and take the shot instead. Placing three fingers to your lips and humming the mockingjay tune is encouraged but not required.

Democracy

One of the most important aspects of True American is that it is a democracy. Any rule can be added, changed, or thrown out if a majority of the group wishes. If you would like to change a rule simply wait until your turn then make a motion to do so. This allows you to personalize each game for your audience. It’s also where some of the zanier rules you see in the show are created.

Disclaimer

I did not create this guide. Like so many immigrants before me, I was lost and alone in my quest for the rules to True American. The founding fathers Michael Melugin, Sam Waldorf, and Andy Mikkola took me in with open arms and introduced me to their version of the game. As you’ve probably noticed there are elements from the show that are missing. This is on purpose. I’ve provided the structure that will get you started (and drunk) but it’s up to you to personalize your game. Remember the democratic process and implement new, crazy rules that are unique to your audience. Have fun and play responsibly 😉

 

By Joshua Harper

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Wildwood Brewery: The Best Brewery In The Missoula Area

Wildwood Brewery is located in the Bitterroot Valley, on Hwy 93, North of Stevensville, Montana, just south of Missoula. Jim Lueders is the owner and head brewer who moved to Montana in 1979 and is taking the brewery world by storm. Wildwood Brewery is three years old and is home to some of the most delicious organic beer in the state! Here are a few reasons why Wildwood Brewery is one of the area’s best breweries and why you should go down and check them out!!

 

1.) The Beerbeer

One of the most important factors when deciding to visit any brewery is the delicious beer. Wildwood Brewery does not disappoint. A few simple ingredients brewed together just right makes these beers an attraction for any craft beer lover. They are Organic and they are amazing!!

 Organic Mystical Stout

Mystical stout is an Irish style dry stout similar to that brewed by a renowned brewery in County Cork, Ireland. Organic two-row barley and black roasted malts give this beer a flavor and aroma reminiscent of coffee. This beer is easy drinking and user friendly.

5.4% alc./vol.

 Organic Bodacious Bock

Bodacious Bock is a traditional German spring bock. Three organic malts are employed to give a complexity, which hints of honey. Only German noble hops from the Hallertau region are used for a soft bitterness and floral aroma. It is decoction mashed in the old world tradition. This is a strong beer, imbiber beware!

7.5% alc./vol.

 Organic Discerning Pilsner

Discerning Pilsner is a Bohemian style lager like the original brewed in Pilsen, Czech Republic. This beer is made only with organic Pilsner malt, Czech Saaz hops and very soft water. This beer is decoction mashed in the old world method. It is well balanced between floral hop bitterness and malty sweetness.

5.2% alc./vol.

 Organic White Bark Wheat Ale

White Bark Wheat Ale is a classic Bavarian wheat beer, often called Weiss Bier or Hefe-Weizen. This beer is fermented with a special yeast from Southern Germany which lends some banana and clove flavors. The yeast creates these flavors naturally and there are no additives. Only certified organically grown wheat and barley malts are used and double decoction mash programs in the tradition of German brew masters.

5.6% alc./vol.

 Organic Ambitious Pale Lager

Ambitious Pale Lager is a classic Munich style lager. Only certified organically grown barley malts are used. It is cold conditioned, well balanced between malt and German noble hops.

5% alc./vol.

 Organic Karapiller Red Lager

Karapiller Red Lager is made with organic Caramunich malt from Germany and pilsner malt made from two-row barley grown in Montana. The roasted malt gives it a subtle caramel flavor. There are just enough hops to balance the malty sweetness. This beer does not fit any classic style, but it is the brew master’s creation.

5.0% Alc./vol.

 Organic Loquacious Duck

Loquacious Duck is a classic German Dopplebock. Malty rich, very subtle hop character. A good choice when trying to keep warm on those cold Montana nights!

8.5% Alc./vol.

2.) The Experienced Brewer

JimIf you’re going to drink fresh, local beer, you might as well drink beer brewed by one of Missoula’s most experienced brewers. In 1987 Jim Lueders, owner of Wildwood Brewery, was hired as assistant brewer at the Bayern Brewery in Missoula and thus began his commercial application. In 1990, Jim traveled to Munich Germany and spent 9 months studying brewing, malting, and soft drink technology at the prestigious Doemens Academy. After finishing at Doemens, Lueders went on a tour through 12 countries getting behind the scenes tours of nearly 100 breweries and related facilities. Upon returning to the USA, Lueders found himself in demand in the young craft brewing industry, which was growing fast. He was first hired as a start-up consultant and head of production for the Saxer Brewing Company in Portland, Oregon in 1993. With youth still on his side he left Saxer to continue consulting for brewery start-ups across the US and overseas. The Wildwood project started in earnest in 2002 when Lueders’ bought all of what was left of the Saxer Brewery, from his past employer. Wildwood Brewery officially opened their doors in March, 2012.

3.) The Surrounding Areabitterroot

Wildwood Brewery is located in the heart of the Bitterroot Valley. The Bitterroot Valley is nestled between the Sapphire and Bitterroot Mountain ranges. It is home to some of the best recreation spots in the US, including hiking, biking, fishing, whitewater rafting, skiing, wildlife and nature viewing ~ you name it! Whatever takes you outdoors; you can find it in the Bitterroot Valley! Whether it is winter or summer, there is always something to do in the Bitterroot Valley. This surrounding recreational area makes Wildwood Brewery the perfect stop after a day of outdoor activities.

4.) The Sustainabilityzero 2

Wildwood Brewery is building an integrated production system, which will transform waste streams from the brewing process into inputs for a network of industries. The cyclical, efficient use of raw materials and energy will reduce operating costs, allow the associated businesses to sustain themselves at lower production levels than their competitors, and provide a model for sustainable development. In a traditional brewery, producing beer results in a significant waste stream. This waste is a business expense, an inefficient use of resources, a burden on the environment and community, and a loss of opportunity. The Wildwood Brewing Company offers a better way by turning wastes into value added inputs to support other productive enterprises. Eventually, the cycles will be completed so these enterprises provide the majority of needed inputs to each other. The Wildwood Brewing network will be based on a flow of materials from one enterprise to another, making the best possible use of generated “waste” of each process. In this manner, value is added at each stage, and costs are lowered.

5.) The Brewery

 

building

Wildwood Brewery has a great small town, community vibe and is located in a beautiful area. The view you have of the Bitterroot Mountains while sitting outside having a beer is unmatched. If you want to sit inside, the taproom has a great, old school brewery feel to it. The state of the art brewing system is feet away from the taproom, so you really get a feel for how the whole brewing process works. You also have the opportunity to help in the canning process. Not only do you get to experience and help in canning the beer, but you will also get paid in beer for it. What could be better? The Building: Wildwood Brewery is a large stucco, timber-framed dairy barn originally built in 1901. Lueders found the rundown structure in Wisconsin, and it took two trailer loads to haul the pieces to Montana. Lueders lined the 22-inch-thick walls with straw bales purchased from a farmer in Corvallis and installed radiant floor heating. The bar is made of salvaged timber from another barn, this one built in Pennsylvania in the 1880s, and the roof is made of recycled metal purchased in Missoula. Lueders made all of the tables in the taproom from old wheel rims and sawed log pieces. The wooden tap handles were sustainability harvested from the top of St. Mary Peak. The building is a really unique and fun place to stop in and have a beer.

6.) The Equipment

equipment

The Wildwood Brewery is a state of the art brewing system. It starts with three malt silos, which can hold nearly 100,000 pounds of bulk malts. The malt is brought into the building with a cable and disc conveyor and empties into the malt hopper where it is electronically weighed. An intermediary hopper is used to add specialty grains, which come in bags. The malt gravity flows from the malt hopper through a Künzel 4 roller mill and into the grist hopper. The Künzel is the BMW of malt mills. The grist is brought out of the bottom of the grist hopper with a screw auger, which empties into a bucket elevator bringing the grist up more than 25 feet. The elevator empties into a chain drag conveyor, which gently moves the grist to the mash kettle. A grist hydrator is used to evenly mix the dry grist with temperate brew water. The mash kettle was designed by Mr. Lueders in 1992 and custom made by Mueller, Springfield, Missouri. The other three vessels of the four-vessel brew house were made by BAM, in Freising, near Munich. These vessels include a Brew kettle, a lauter tun, and whirlpool. There is a 50 hp high-pressure boiler, two 50 bbl hot liquor tanks, and a 30-ton chiller. A 1000 square foot cooler building is built in the shadow (North side) of the larger brewery barn. For additional efficiency, there is a 600-gallon glycol reservoir inside the walk in cooler. An outside 600 gallon water/ice tank which includes a heat exchange coil can be used as a pre-chiller at times when the temperature outside is below 30°F. There is cellar capacity of 240 barrels.

All these reasons make Wildwood Brewery a prime stop for any authentic craft beer lover. From the beer to the atmosphere, Wildwood Brewery is a great place to enjoy a delicious organic beer.

 

Where you can find Wildwood Brewery:

Wildwood’s driveway is about 1/4 mile north of the Stevensville cut off road, just east of where the middle Kootenai Creek Road intersects highway 93. We are across the highway (East) from Lucky Lil’s Casino. Look for a big yellow building with a rust colored roof and three large grain silos in front about 200 yards from the highway. 4018 US Hwy 93 North Stevensville, Montana.

The taproom is presently open everyday from 4:00pm to 8:00pm.

 

Website: http://wildwoodbrewing.com

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Wildwood.Brewery09?fref=ts

 

A Definitive Ranking of the Most Photogenic Pugs on Instagram

A new wave of celebrities are crashing in on Instagram, and these celebrities aren’t the type to Photoshop their pictures or try to make sure their beach bods are in perfect shape for you. They are taking over your Instagram feeds (and social media in general) with a fierce confidence. Who am I talking about exactly? P-U-G-S. That’s right, pugs. Here is a ranking of the top 5 pugs on Instagram who are prettier than you. And let’s be honest, you love it.

5. Pugalicious Vinny

Not only is he sexy and he knows it, but he can rock a bow tie better than any guy you know.

pugalicious vinny 2

pugalicious vinny 3

Pugalicious Vinny
@pugalicious_vinny

 

4. Nutello the Pug

He is #swole, he can rock any mustache, AND he is into romance.

nutello pug 3

nutello pug

nutello pug 2
@nutellothepug

 

3. Homer Pugalicious

He says it all with his eyes.

homer pugalicious 2

homer pugalicious 3

@homerpugalicious
@homerpugalicious

 

2. Doug the Pug

He is sassier than you. He is wittier than you. And he can rock his PJs better than you.

doug the pug

doug the pug 3

@itsdougthepug
@itsdougthepug

 

1. Ref the Pug

He understands how hard life can be when you are THIS beautiful. He still manages to work it for the camera though.

ref the pug 3

ref the pug

@refthepug
@refthepug

 

 

 

7 Bucket List Items for UM Students

There’s more to college than lectures, homework, and simple house parties. Especially when it comes to Missoula. There is so much to offer in the town and the surrounding area that you just need to know where to look. Well, here’s a start:

Float the Clark Fork

Grab a tube, a 6 pack, your friends, and hit the river. Sitting on the Clark Fork, sipping on a cold Summer Honey, and just relaxing with your friends is one of the best ways to spend a summer day. Hell, you may even make some new friends on the journey down the river! One piece of advice I would offer: don’t forget the sunscreen or the float will be a red and painful memory!

Screen Shot 2015-04-27 at 9.02.20 PM

 

Spontaneous Road Trip

If it’s just a day trip up to Flathead Lake, driving to Coeur d’Alene to go to Silverwood, playing a road of golf in Ronan, or whatever floats your boat, make some memories. I can honestly say some of the best times I have had in college are when my friends and I just hopped in the car and started driving. Ending up at the Raven Bar and swing dancing after a few beers is a memory I will never forget. So get your friends, get in your car and go!

20140727_163312

 

Missoula Brewfest

Choose one or two or three or all of them! You don’t have a chance to sample some of the best beers Montana has to offer in one spot. I mean where else can you sample Bayern, KettleHouse, Lewis & Clark, Great Northern Brewery, and so many more for $20?

BestFestival_Brewfest

 

Themed Party

While this is not just a UM thing obviously, it is still a necessity. Throw a Christmas Party where everyone wears their Christmas best, a Tight and Bright Party, or a Beer Olympics and have everyone wear the attire of the country of their choice (A kilt with Ireland is a must). Where else are you going to see people sitting on Santas lap taking a shot of peppermint schnapps with a chocolate syrup chaser?

20150425_184444

 

Hike Blue Mountain

Playing a round of folf or not, the view is truly amazing. No matter the season it is always guaranteed to be a hike you will want to do again and again. Hitting the trails with your friends is one of the best ways to get a breathtaking view of Missoula.

Image_1430156968413

 

Downtown pub crawl

Missoula has such a wide variety of bars that experiencing them all (or most) in one night should be done before your college career is done. If you get the chance, try the Craft Beer Cup. A mini putt/pub crawl through downtown Missoula. Experience some of Montanas best beers while playing a round with your friends!

Image_1430190027458

 

Griz Cat at Washington Grizzly Stadium

The Brawl of the Wild, winner takes home The Great Divide Trophy for at least one more year. If you don’t spend at least one game in the student section in Washington Grizzly Stadium you are missing out on greatness. From Monte and Mo, to the fans doing a MONTANA…GRIZZLIES chant back and forth, to the mighty North End Zone, it is possibly the biggest event in Montana. Don’t miss out!

20141122_174244

 

While there are so many different and exciting events in Missoula that a true bucket list could reach triple digits, these are a few that I believe every college student should experience before they graduate and head out into the real world. So get going, college goes faster than you think!

2015 Seahawks NFL Draft Preview

As the 2015 NFL Draft quickly approaches Seahawk fans are looking to the draft to see potential picks that could be beneficial for next seasons Superbowl run. Although the Seahawks are in pretty good shape for next season already, there are a few positions that the Hawks are lacking in.

WR

Last season the Seahawks receiving core was often described as “pedestrian” as not one receiver had more than 825 receiving yds. Despite the lack of outstanding production from a single receiver, as a whole the receiving core made big plays when they were needed. Although with Paul Richardson’s late playoff injury vs. Carolina, the Seahawks are lacking on dynamic quick receivers, which is what the Hawks will be looking for early in the upcoming draft. Here are a few selections that would fit nicely in Seattle’s offense:

Devin Smith (Ohio State)
Devin Smith (Ohio State)

 

Devin Funchess (Michigan)
Devin Funchess (Michigan)

 

Ty Montgomery (Stanford)
Ty Montgomery (Stanford)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

C

During Seattle’s offseason the Seahawk’s center position was ravaged by trade as well as retirement. Our Pro-Bowl center Max Unger was involved in the Jimmy Graham acquisition sending Unger to New Orleans as well as Steve Schilling making the difficult decision to retire at age 26 due to “personal reasons.” So naturally the center is a crucial piece for the Seahawks to fill during the draft. These are a few centers that would make a nice transition to the Seahawks:

Hroniss Grasu (Orgeon)
Hroniss Grasu (Orgeon)
B.J. Finney (Kansas St.)
B.J. Finney (Kansas St.)

 

CB

One of Seattle’s most valued positions, the Seahawks lost Byron Maxwell to free agency during the offseason. Although the Hawks did sign Cary Williams as well as Will Blackmon during the offseason, I feel that Seattle still may look to the draft to add more depth to the Legion Of Boom.   Here are a few solid picks that should be available in later rounds of the draft for the Hawks:

Quinten Rollins (Miami University)
Quinten Rollins (Miami University)
Ronald Darby (Florida St.)
Ronald Darby (Florida St.)

 

OT

Last season Seattle’s pass blocking ranked quite average when compared to the entire league, which should be a focus during the draft. Also with left tackle Russell Okung entering the final year on his contract, a pass blocking OT will be crucial come this time next year. Here are a couple selections that would fill the void in OT:

Ty Sambraillo (Colorado St.)
Ty Sambraillo (Colorado St.)

 

Tyrus Thompson (Oklahoma)
Tyrus Thompson (Oklahoma)

 

 

Written By: Kyle Curnow