Category: Guide

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Yosemite National Park, 5 Insider Tips

So. You’re coming to Yosemite National Park. Let me ask you a few things first:

  1. Is it summer?
  2. Is it a holiday?
  3. Is it a weekend? 
  4. Are there hazardous conditions (snow, fires, flooding, pandemics, etc.)?
  5. Is there an event going on that made you plan your trip now instead of some other time (Firefall, Facelift, whenever Alex Honnold is doing something, etc.)?

If you answered yes to any one of these questions, read on. . .

1. Do your business outside the park.

Grocery shop outside the park, get gas before you enter the park, call your mom and tell her you love her outside the park, take screenshots on your phone of any valuable information you might need (reservations), set your GPS for directions if you need them, and then download additional maps of the area since even your GPS won’t know about road work in the park.  

You have options in the park for all of these things if the need arises, but you’ll be better set up for success if you do all these things preemptively. That way, when you wander by the Village Store in Yosemite Valley, you can be thankful you are not one of the poor souls circling the parking lot trying to find a parking space with hungry kids in the backseat. 

2. What’s cell coverage like?

You’re coming to a National Park and you want to be glued to your phone??

Just kidding. I use my cell phone all the time. Don’t hate, I’m a millennial. Here’s the scoop:

Verizon is your best bet for cell coverage, and even then it’s spotty. Yosemite Valley and a number of the high points around it have decent cell coverage for folks with Verizon. AT&T does alright. Everything else is essentially nonexistent. Then, to top it all off, if you’re coming at a busy time (i.e. weekend, summer, or park event), the cell towers get overloaded by all the visitors and become very unreliable. Your best bet is just to rely on your phone as a camera. Buy a map, and then make sure to learn how to read it before your trip (and not in an emergency). 

3. I wish I could give you advice on parking. . . but there is no advice on parking. 

I don’t know the exact numbers, but Yosemite Valley has like 600-800 parking spots total. On a summer weekend, there are 1,000+ cars that come into Yosemite. I think you can figure out the math. If you’re planning your trip during a busy time, and you find a parking spot, take it and then leave your car. Take advantage of the FREE buses* and pedestrian paths to get around!

In fact, you can get into Yosemite without your car! There is the Yosemite Area Regional Transit System (or YARTS) that will take you into the park from any of the gateway communities. Check them out! You have to pay to ride the bus, but you don’t have to pay to get into the park! And there’s a bus lane in the park! For a second time, you can be sitting and enjoying the views, thankful you’re not part of the mad house that is Yosemite Valley traffic in the summer. 

If I haven’t convinced you of the insanity of coming in your car to Yosemite during a peak time, at least bring some snacks, entertainment, and maybe something to pee in for you and/or your passengers. You can (and should expect) to get stuck in traffic. 

If you’re still determined on coming in your car, I would encourage you to get into the park before 10 am. 

*During normal, non-pandemic times. 

4. Don’t come in without knowing where you’re going to sleep.

Everything fills up, months (years in some cases) in advance. I’m not sure how people actually get spots in the first-come, first-serve campsites. If you insist on doing this, I would recommend bringing some donuts – not for you! For the people you’re going to bribe to share a campsite with you.

5. All of Yosemite is beautiful, you don’t need to see the ONE THING. 

I’m not discouraging you from getting a permit to hike Half Dome– that’s great if you win the lottery! I’m just saying there is way more to Yosemite than that one thing you heard about from your friends or the media. When you come to Yosemite, don’t have your heart set on doing that one activity you’ve heard so much about. There really isn’t a bad view in the park, so even if you have to hike a lesser known trail, climb a different climb, or if meadow restoration is keeping you off the trail that offers you the best shot of Half Dome for your Instagram, know there is something just as spectacular at a different spot or on a different adventure.

With that being said, do have a plan when coming to visit the park. Yosemite is the size of Rhode Island, so showing up with no idea what you’re getting into is a bad idea. Make a plan A, B, C, and D. You’re not going to be disappointed if you can’t hike up the side of Vernal Falls because there isn’t any parking and have to wander through the meadows (on the designated trails) and see North America’s tallest waterfall from afar. You’re not going to be upset for not getting out of the park at the time you said you wanted to be and end up seeing the alpenglow light up the Yosemite Valley walls. And if this does disappoint you, you probably wouldn’t have enjoyed your original plan anyway.

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There you have it! The five biggest tips an insider could give you about your visit to Yosemite National Park. It’s a fun time as long as you’re prepared, that’s the bottom line. 

HERE’s another resource for you if you have additional FAQ’s, put together by the Yosemite Park Service. If you find yourself super inspired by the park, and then you want to donate money, check out their nonprofit partner the Yosemite Conservancy (you can’t donate directly to the federal government). Inspired enough to volunteer some of your time? Check out THIS SITE with the keyword Yosemite. So inspired that you want to quit your current job/have a second career? HERE’s where you apply for Park Service jobs!

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Local Nonprofits Unite to Offer Free Support for Grief and Loss

The COVID-19 pandemic has affected everyone in different ways; caregivers, patients and families alike are all experiencing new types of stress, grief and loss. This complicated grief has inspired many members of the community to develop new programs that are designed to meet this need. Here is a sampling of some of the free virtual support groups available in your area.

https://www.partnersinhomecare.org/events/

1. Continuing Bonds: Virtual Community Workshop

2. COVID-19 Support Group – For Healthcare Workers

3. Virtual Bereavement Support Group

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Montana Wildflowers You Should Know About

An image of a purple flower with a bee on it

Did you spend as much time as you could outside last year to avoid dealing with indoor COVID-19 protocols? I know I did. I’m not just talking about parking lot fitness classes and eating takeout on your patio—if you spent extra time hiking, camping, and exploring local parks in 2020, you’re not alone. According to Yellowstone Public Radio, last year was a record-breaking year for Montana State Parks, with over a 30% increase in visitation.

One of best things about living in Montana is that the many types of ecosystems here are home to an incredible amount of wildflowers. Over 2500 species of flowering plants can be found in the state! That’s an overwhelming number, and the purpose of this article is not to help you decide which variety of lupine you encountered on your hike. For that, I’m going to direct you to a botanist. But I think that being able to identify a dozen types of wildflowers is manageable, don’t you? Each flower listed has a short description and a link to its page in the free, state-run Montana Field Guide database if you want more detailed information.

But first, real quick: Please remember to practice leave-no-trace hiking, don’t pick flowers without permission from the landowner, and definitely DO NOT eat things you find in the woods, as many plants have poisonous lookalikes.

  1. Bitterroot, Lewisisa rediviva

An image of a Bitterroot flower
From Pixabay: Wild0ne

This list would be incomplete without including Montana’s state flower.  These unusual-looking wildflowers can be found in either a pale, whitish color (pictured) or a bright pink. Look for these around Western Montana in late spring—they don’t bloom for very long!

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Cliff/Cut-Leaved Anemone, Anemone multifida

An image of a Cut-leaved Anemone flower
Author

Keep an eye out for these small, two-toned anemones. They have pale centers with striking pinks or reds with on the edges. True to their name, these Cliff Anemones can sometimes can be found on rocky ledges. They are members of the Buttercup family and a relative to the Pasqueflower listed below.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Few-Flowered Shooting Star, Dodecatheon pulchellum

An image of a Shooting Star Flower
Author

The unusual shape might make Shooting Stars my favorite Montana wildflower. These tiny plants are around a foot tall and grow in multiple different ecosystems, ranging from valleys to alpine meadows.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Paintbrush, genus castilleja

From Pixabay: MrsBrown

If you already have some background in plant identification, your first reaction might be to call this an “Indian Paintbrush,” but did you know that Montana is home to twenty-two different species of paintbrush? The Wyoming state flower, castilleja linariaefolia (common name: Wyoming Indian Paintbrush), is one of the best known types. That said, recognizing a plant as a “paintbrush” will probably be all you need.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Lupine, genus Lupinus

An image of a Lupine flower
Author

Remember the beginning of the article when I mentioned different types of Lupine? There are over 200 species of Lupine worldwide, and seventeen species have entries in the Montana Field Guide. The page for Silvery Lupine, which is found all over the state, is linked below.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Pasqueflower, Anemone patens

An image of a Pasqueflower
Author

You might hear this plant referred to as a “Prairie Crocus.” A close relative to this gorgeous purple blossom, the American Pasqueflower (Pulsatilla hirsutissima) is the state flower of South Dakota. The “pasque” in the name may be a reference to their early spring appearance.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Jacob’s-ladder, Polemonium pulcherrimum

A picture of a Jacob's Ladder flower
Author

Aren’t these squat purple flowers cute?  Depending on what you use to identify this plant, you may be scared away from getting too close!  Another common name for this plant is “skunk leaf.” These plants are common throughout the western United States and grow at higher elevations.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Pricklypear, genus Opuntia

An image of a prickly pear cactus flower
From Pixabay: happy2be

Montana has both Plains and Brittle Pricklypear. These short cactuses can be painful to accidentally step on, but aren’t the yellow flowers beautiful?

Note: While the image above is an example of a Pricklypear blossom, the I am unable to determine if it is from from a species of Pricklypear that grows in Montana. There are around a hundred species within the genus Opuntia.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Yellow Pond-lily, Nuphar polysepalum

An image of a yellow water lily
Author

Montana has so many beautiful lakes and ponds, I had to add an aquatic plant to the list! The Yellow Pond-lily has large, heart-shaped leaves and grows in shallow, slow-moving water.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Sticky Geranium, Geranium viscosissimum

An image of a Sticky Geranium flower
Author

The star-shaped purple flowers on this slightly furry plant can be hard to miss! Find it in the western half of the state.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. White Mule’s Ears, Wyethia helianthoides

An image of White Mules Ears flowers
Author

Do the long, oval petals of this flower look like mule ears to you? This member of the sunflower family grows primarily in Southwest Montana.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Wood’s Rose – Rosa woodsia

An image of a rose
Author

Montana is home to a couple types of wild rose, but the Wood’s Rose is a common one found all over the state. If you’ve been out hiking in the fall, you might recognize the red fruit produced by a rose plant, which are called “rosehips”.

Looking for more information on this flower?

  1. Bonus Flower: Musk Thistle

Would you believe that the beautiful flower pictured in the header is actually a noxious weed? Carduus nutans, or Musk Thistle, was introduced to North America in the 1800s. It is now commonly found on roadsides throughout the United States.  Musk Thistles can grow up to six feet tall!

Looking for more information on this flower?

If you just can’t get enough of Montana’s wildflowers, below are some of my favorite resources. Remember that while these can be fun to use, always check with a professional if you need to identify a specific plant for a special use. Additionally, while I’ve tried to make all this information as accurate as possible, please let me know if you notice an error.

Digital and Free

Print

  • Wildflowers of Montana by Donald Anthony Schiemann
  • 265 Images of Northern Rocky Mountain Wildflowers by A. Scott Earle & Jane Lundin
  • Montana Trees & Wildflowers Pocket Naturalist Guide by Kavanagh & Leung
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Carbonara For One: More Than a Recipe

carbonara
Why Carbonara?

Carbonara is my love language. It is not only my favorite food, but also my preferred way to offer care and comfort to myself and my loved ones. I prepare carbonara at least once per week, sometimes more if I am feeling particularly tender, hungry, or cozy. I often make single servings for myself after long days, or even for a late breakfast, and I have continued to hone my process over several years. At this point it feels more like a dance than a recipe, requiring fluidity, attention, and flexibility.

It goes without saying that I did not create any part of this dish, and that I’m sure there are many Italians that could cook circles around me. What I bring to this recipe is a pure reverence and devotion to the dish, and an utter delight each time I make it. If you take anything from this post, I hope it is not a perfect bowl of pasta, but a desire to find your own sacred foods and cultivate a deep appreciation for the ritual of making them.

Bon Appetit!

Ingredients:
  • 3 eggs, separated (fresh, free range ideally – the quality of the eggs really matter in this recipe, low quality yields flavorless pasta)
  • 3-4 oz. of guanciale/uncured bacon/pancetta
  • Generous handful of spaghetti or bucatini
  • Hunk of good Parmesan (you can use Pecorino Romano if you like, not pre-shredded)
  • Heaps of freshly ground black pepper
  • Kosher salt
  • Optional: scallions/chives/parsley for garnish
Method:
  1. Chop or cut pork into small bits.
  2. Sauté pork in a non-stick pan over low-medium heat.
  3. Start to boil pasta water in a separate saucepan.
  4. When pork is starting to crisp, about 5 minutes into cooking, reduce heat to low and allow it to fully cook over low heat in the rendered fat.
  5. Once water boils generously salt pasta water and add pasta, cooking 2 minutes short of al dente
  6. While the pork and pasta are cooking you will prepare the sauce. In a bowl (I use the bowl I am going to eat out of) separate three eggs. You do not need egg whites for this recipe, but I will add a teaspoon of the whites to the yolks to give the sauce a little more fluidity. Mix egg yolks until very well blended.
  7. Grate parmesan into the egg mixture. I use at least ½ cup, it should form a texture like a paste. Add pinch of salt and generous amount of cracked pepper to the egg and cheese mixture.
  8. When pasta is close to al dente scoop a splash of pasta water into the egg mixture. This tempers the eggs and begins to melt the shredded cheese. The texture should thin a bit, but not be watery. Be careful not to overdo it!
  9. Increase heat on pork to med-high to bring the pan temperature back up.
  10. Using tongs transfer pasta directly from the pasta water to the pan with the pork with ¼ cup of pasta water, moving quickly. DO NOT DRAIN OR RINSE YOUR PASTA. Reserve the rest of the pasta water.
  11. Continually stir the pasta and pork as the liquid cooks off and pasta water reduces some. The pasta should be lubricated, not dry, with the fat and pasta water beginning to stick to the pasta. Add more pasta water if you need to during this step as it cooks off.
  12. Pull off heat and allow pasta to cool slightly.
  13. Slowly start to pour egg and cheese mixture into the pan with the pasta, stirring continually as you pour. If the sauce seems too thick after adding the egg mixture you can add more pasta water, one tablespoon at a time. The sauce should be glossy and cling to the noodles, not goopy or thin.
  14. Finish in the bowl with fresh Parmesan, more cracked black pepper, and garnish if you choose to.
  15. Eat immediately! Carbonara is best served hot and eaten quickly after.

Notes:

This recipe requires you to multitask. Time is of the essence when you make carbonara! It is crucial that you do not overcook the pasta, and it all comes together quite quickly. It helps to prep your mise en place before you begin and have everything close to the stove where you are cooking for easy access.

Tongs are a huge help with this recipe. You can use them to cook the pork and the pasta, and they make it easy to transfer the pasta without draining.

If you’re not a pork eater, you can substitute mushrooms or another hearty vegetable in place of the meat. Add a tiny bit of soy sauce or another umami flavor to the vegetables for the salty, meaty flavor you would be skipping.

Salt at each stage. You need to add it to the pasta water and a pinch to the egg mixture or the dish will lack complex flavor, but it is easy to over salt so be mindful of that!

Do not put cream or milk in this dish. Pasta water works magic here, it’s just not necessary, and it will result in a pasta that is too rich and heavy. Or peas, because frozen peas do not add anything to the flavor or texture of this dish.

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The Ideal Autumn Meal: Tamales With a Side of Grey Goo

Ah, it’s that time of the year. The leaves are turning red, the air is starting to cool, the sun is starting to set earlier. Autumn fast approaches, and with it, season specific food. Thats right, it’s tamale time!

Now, if your’e anything like me, then you love tamales. And who doesn’t love a variety of meats and spices wrapped in maze, covered in a corn husk and steamed to perfection? I know a lot about tamales, how to eat them, how to serve them, how to enjoy them, but not how to make them. Fortunately, I’m on the internet.

-10 hours later-

Alright, now I know more about tamales then I’ll ever need to know, and now I am going to make that YOUR problem. Earlier I said “if your’e anything like me, then you love tamales”, but don’t fool yourself. You are nothing like me. For you see, I really love tamales.

Between my tamale obsession and my laziness, I simply can’t make enough tamales by hand to keep me satisfied. So I think it’s time I get a helping hand. Or a lot of helping hands. Like, hundreds of tiny helping hands. And before you ask, I’m not talking about using child labor in a sweatshop next to my storage unit, I’m talking about nanobots! The sweatshop is unrelated, just forget I brought it up.

If you clicked on this thinking it would be a tutorial on how to make tamales, but after seeing that last paragraph are starting to second guess yourself, don’t worry, this is a tamale tutorial. But not your run of the mill tamale tutorial, no, I’m going to teach you how to make tamales like the Demiurge you were always meant to be.

Step 1: making the nanobots

Making nanobots is one of those fun activities you do in an afternoon, ideally with your father or son, depending on what roll you are. Go into the garage and pull out your Kirkland Signature matter fabricator. Program it to make a robot that will make a smaller robot that will make a smaller robot and have this continue until a small robot, approximately the size of a needle, produces a nanobot half the size of a blood cell. Now that that is done, we have just completed the toughest step.

Step 2: from 1 to 2 to goo!

Program that nanobot with 3 instructions. 1, make 4 copies of yourself using any non-tamale matter. 2, download the 3 preprogrammed instructions into the newly fabricated nanobots. 3, convert all non-nanobot matter into tamales. Now you just sit back, relax, and wait as those piles of corn and meat and whatever else magically assembles into tamales before your eyes.

Step 3: realize you made a mistake.

So… we forgot to program the nanobots not to turn ourselves into tamales. And I guess that ought to extend to our friends and family too. But not the neighbor’s dog. By this point, poor snuffles has already had his matter converted into tamale ingredients. Assuming that the nanobots are still on the tamales, lets just avoid eating that batch for now. Besides, we have more important things to do…

Step 4: get out of town!

Because you were so eager to consume delicious tamales, you set the duplication to 4, so we have very little time left. At this point, just go to NASA or SpaceX and steal yourself a rocket. That’s right, we’re leaving Earth. Assuming the nanobots won’t be able to leave Earth on their own, and we know we didn’t program them to be aware enough to realize the entire universe is made out of matter, we should be able to safely establish the first Mars tamale colony! You did follow the instructions, right?

Step 5: take one last look.

Step 6: enough looking, get on the rocket!

Step 7: lift off

By this point, you should be asking yourself, was it worth it? The answer is, yes. Of course it was worth it. But this is also your fault and you should be ashamed. I mean, look at what you did! This, this is Earth right now! This is all your fault. What were you thinking? What, that you would just look up an article online about making tamales, following along without first reading through the entire article? THERE WEREN’T EVEN INGREDIENTS LISTED!

Step 8: remorse

You forgot to grab cattle. Meat doesn’t grow in the ground, corn does. This is your fault, not mine. And you didn’t grab corn seeds. No, Mars dirt can’t be used to make tamales. You don’t even have water to steam your non-tamale dirt tamales. This is why we can’t have nice things, because of people like you.

 

I hope you found this tamale tutorial useful! Next week, throwing your cat in a nuclear reactor. Federal authorities call it a serious offense and a radiological hazard, but you kids will absolutely love having a glow-in-the-dark kitty cat!