The difference in the fullness of your plate during finals and after finals is so vast, it can leave you wondering how the same brain functions in both worlds.
1. During finals, each minute of your day is so crammed with tasks that you begin to question the logic of final exams altogether, wondering what spawn of Satan came up with saving all your hardest tests for the same week.
After finals, your body still craves the loose fit and snuggly feel of your sweat pants. Unfortunately after finals week the ‘just rolled out of bed look’ is no longer acceptable and will only be seen as lazy.
8. During finals, coffee basically replaces the blood in your veins as you pray to God that just one more espresso shot will keep you awake without sending your heart into cardiac arrest.
After finals, you measure the value of your coffee on flavor and feelings of serenity rather than the amount of energy in gives you.
9. During finals, lack of sleep can lead to extreme sensitivity. You find yourself wanting to punch your roommate over not washing the dishes or about to cry when you can’t find a synonym for perturbed.
After finals, your brain is restored by adequate, if not an overly excessive, amount of sleep. You find yourself feeling balanced, energized, and ready for any emotional challenge so you devote hours of your time to talk to your BFF about everything that was wrong with her ex boyfriend.
10. During finals, almost everything you encounter becomes a distraction. Did you notice how the clouds move when it’s windy? Wow, my pen is very shiny! Have my toes always been this asymmetrical?
After finals, meager life occurrences are much less significant. The symmetry of your toes just doesn’t seem significant and who has time to admire the clouds when you’re about to beat another level of Candy Crush?
11. During finals, your perception for anything else other than studying reaches Adrian Monk status. You begin to notice how the crumbs collect behind your refrigerator, how you never replied to your aunt’s email, and how the mole on your back is most likely cancer.
After finals, your brain isn’t searching for anything to take you away from studying, resulting in the return of your normal perception skills: not noticing you put the jelly in the pantry and the peanut butter in the refrigerator.
12. During finals, visiting Qdoba two times in one day is a must. Queso always gives you the best ideas.
After finals, this anger disappears and you begin your new classes by practicing your signature hundreds of times and pondering how Jesus was Jewish. As you always say, that’s Future [insert name here]’s problem.