Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family)
Wednesday is a thoughtful tactician who applies creativity and rationality in everything she does professionally. She is able to analyze data quickly, gather compelling support materials, and write strategic proposals under tight deadlines. Wednesday has the ingenuity to expand her writing and research responsibilities as her expertise develops.
Position: Grant Writer
Best Qualities: Thirst for knowledge, sharp mental acuity, deadpan wit, persuasive communicator, exposes problematic societal norms with powerful monologues
Favorite Quote: “I’m not perky.”
Wednesday would have a low-profile, but influential role as grant writer who packs a lot of punch and isn’t afraid to prove her power.
Samwise Gamgee (The Lord of the Rings)
Dearest Sam, of course he makes the list. Could you ever hire a truer hero? He can face great foes with courage. Sam has well-developed people skills and can build robust social relationships. He is receptive to change and new ideas. He has a knack for engaging others within the work we support with enthusiasm and generosity.
Position: Executive Assistant
Best Qualities: Loyalty, dependable companion, repeatedly saves us all from disaster
Favorite Quote: “How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.”
Lastly, he would bring “a few good taters” to the team potluck.
Darth Vader (Star Wars)
Who doesn’t love an epic villain? Lord Vader would offer any nonprofit organization solid direction amid adversity. He is a fearsome leader who would always deliver the fundraising results that are expected of him. Vader is dedicated and strong-willed, with references stating he is consistently hard-working.
Position: Fundraising and Development Director
Best Qualities: Sales background, experience training fundraising staff and volunteer leaders, telepathy, the Dark Side/Force, provides rides on the Death Star
Favorite Quote: “Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.”
He would evaluate and plan fundraising campaigns that no prospective funder or donor would be safe from.
Clifford (Clifford the Big Red Dog)
Clifford is charming, selfless, and easily has insights to what speaks to people’s hearts. It is difficult to describe this quality on a resume, but Clifford easily relates to others’ emotions, helping minimize conflict. He would promote equity, diversity, and inclusion in all aspects of his work.
Position: Community Outreach Coordinator
Best Qualities: Unusual size, gentleness, loves unconditionally, grows referral sources, gathers wonderful client success stories and feedback
Favorite Quote: “Share your smile with the world. It is a symbol of friendship and peace.”
Clifford grew up to be the Big Red Dog because his owner, Emily, loved him so much. Now, he always wants to help people and makes new friends (and nonprofit partners!) wherever he goes.
Chef (South Park)
When interviewed, Chef was clearly full of passion and charisma. He has experience with all levels of government and wants to eliminate inequality by dismantling existing systems of discrimination. Chef would take on multiple responsibilities with competence and good cheer. He also has the ability to convey complex concepts clearly, both orally and in written format.
Position: Advocacy and Policy Director
Best Qualities: Cheerful, background in community legal aid, shares wisdom via soulful or jaunty singing, bakes delicious treats to share with colleagues
Favorite Quote: “Well then don’t buy into this fad, Kyle. Be who you are. Not what’s cool.”
Chef has the capacity for insightful communication and is inspired by the opportunity to take action for meaningful work, knowing that efforts contribute to something bigger than himself.
Mary Poppins (Mary Poppins)
Hiring some who is always polite and proper is no hardship. Mary Poppins is happiest when she can help someone learn something new. Mary Poppins is generous, compassionate, and sensible. She may come across as bossy, but only because she cares so deeply. Basically, she is practically perfect in every way.
Position: Educational Director
Best Qualities: Experience working with children, makes menial tasks more bearable through song, magical abilities (including umbrella transportation and speaking with animals)
Favorite Quote: “Anything can happen if you let it.”
Efficient as she is elegant, she would help plan amazing educational events and delight participants.